Heroin with an e
Most of the time when people write about the Hope Diamond
they start with, 'Well it was found in India." Part of the
point I always try to make to people is really the story began
a lot sooner. Many diamonds don't ever get to that point
because they just didn't survive all these things that had to
have happened.
JEFFREY POST, from "Diamonds Unearthed"

//

you might do well // to learn the other uses
of an opium poppy // pick one and flip it
upside down // it's a doll in a bright red dress
but where is her head // where is her head
strip the flower // petals bunched together
like a clump of hair // an oxygen rich scrunchie
on a sideways ponytail // pin the flower head
to your blouse // now it's a homecoming mum
that night // you didn't come home to mom
didn't want to become a mom // so you pressed
the poppy between your thighs // a cup of seeds
something called a diaphragm // you liked it so
you did it again // no one told you how good
it could feel // stay away just don't do it say no
you took another hit // because goddamn all of it
plucked & plucked he loved you & loved you // not
flower head tossed in the toilet // a blood clot
with an ovum caught inside it // because fuck him

//

is that unpleasant to your palate // then pick another
poppy by the stem // and take a light to it on either end
it bleeds a white ash // your mother in the kitchen
waiting & waiting measuring her life // in cigarettes
and coffee spoons she burns // the slender neck of a poppy
it's the incense smoking in the hallway // praying
the myrrh might pry you from // whatever traphouse
you're calling home tonight // dull halo of dust
where the kitchen TV was // where you were once
entranced by the Technicolor // Emerald City Oz
you were just a girl and couldn't help but fall // asleep
before Dorothy even reached // the nodding flowers
dusk fielding the sepia window // where are you
I never worry about your brothers // married and working
and working and why aren't you // calling home tonight
she watches the window like a TV channel // bad connection
turn the dial jiggle the wire // snow still cuts the picture
why aren't you aren't you calling home // home tonight

//

when all of what had to have happened // happened
when I slept on the floor of a street // mother called
rock bottom // when I thought I couldn't fall deeper
I rolled into the gutter // I fell and fell into the sewer
I swam against the slurry // it felt like I would kick & kick
and it's like I wasn't moving // in a tango called the 12 step
God was my partner and he wouldn't lead // had two left feet
I'm going to drown down here is that what you want // no
I still have two feet left I said // God said you got this girl
that's when I stopped fighting // it's called accepting
what we cannot change // I rode the current to the end
of a sewage treatment plant // I was treated and cycled
through vats of waste // pushed through grates my hair
caught in the spinning filters // chemical and electrolysis
processed // any minute in jail is another minute alive
my mother said this and it must be // the most generous
use of that term mother // the voice of God was obnoxious
he said Marlene bitch you got this // why me why me lord
even light can be a kind of pollution even sound // sulfur
makes the eternal waters of some lakes // clear as death
and still life breeds there // if you dare to call that living
methadone Suboxone maintenance // so what if you need this
the difference between drug and medicine // is why you take it
take it every day every day // you think your life is worthless
remember that // sometimes even a diamond was once alive

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Copyright © 2019 Benjamin Garcia All rights reserved
from Prairie Schooner
Reprinted by Verse Daily® with permission