Clouds

That was the day
someone called me an elitist fuckwad for liking mashed potatoes.
But come on, they're the perfect side
and I dare you to challenge that notion!
That was the day
someone called you
an independently wealthy Marxist poseur
for wearing a reindeer sweater.
With me, I'd been heightening my love of mashed potatoes
to a level of parody
to illustrate a point I've since forgotten.
A girl with a black balloon,
a vanilla milkshake.
We used to come here often.
Is it true you slept with him
because you didn't know how to say goodbye?
Do you regret that?
I always wonder about those who say
they have no regrets.
I regret things I did twenty minutes ago.
Like when you called that guy a hipster douchebag for not liking
mashed potatoes? Yeah, but also,
how could you not like mashed potatoes?
That's inhuman!
Yeah, but also,
what do you regret?
I made a wrong decision, people needed so many things from me
so many things from me and I didn't know what to do
I didn't know what to do
I didn't know what to do and I knew, I knew
I didn't want to hurt her but I didn't know who I was at the time
because someone else said something
that made me look at things
in a way I'd never looked at things
and then she needed answers and I didn't have answers
I didn't have answers I didn't have answers and I gave up.
You gave up? I gave up.
For two years I pretended it was 2005
even though it wasn't 2005 anymore.
I don't know, I've wanted to tell you so many things lately,
but instead
I've been staring out the window at clouds,
remembering that day we were driving to Burlington Coat Factory,
how the sun was setting
and you said something about clouds
and we had this brilliant conversation about clouds
but I missed the turn and had to make a u-turn
and someone honked
and you reached over me, honked back, and yelled out the window
hey asshole, maybe you wouldn't be so upset
if you thought about clouds sometimes!

Copyright © 2009 Jason Bredle All rights reserved
from Barn Owl Review
Reprinted by Verse Daily® with permission